Communicating With Children About MS

The best thing to do is to talk openly with children about MS, because it helps relieve their anxiety regarding their parent’s health but also their own security and wellbeing. Parents reluctant to talk about the disease can make children think that their disease is a problem so terrible that it cannot be discussed. When this happens children use their vivid imagination and usually their guesses are worse than the reality. This is why most children are relieved to hear the truth.

Also, if children find out that others were told this important information before they were, they tend to become quite angry. Most children are acutely aware when a parent has a health problem or is not functioning up to par. This is why they may grow to resent relatives or people outside the family that were trusted with this information while they were not.

A parent talking directly with a child about MS will also convey the message that everything will be okay, and that no matter what the future might bring they will still love, care and protect their child. Talking openly to children will also establish the grounds for a good parent-child communication when it comes to other family issues. This will only bring the family closer together, and give the child a sense of unity and protection.

Of course, regarding certain questions and concerns, the answers must be given accordingly to a child’s age, being careful not to overwhelm the child with information that he or she can’t understand. Parents can also ask children how they want to find out about MS: by reading a book with them parents or alone, watching a video, going to the doctor’s with them, etc.

When talking with children about symptoms, parents should demonstrate and describe them in terms that they can understand. For example they can describe fatigue as walking around with weights on their arms and legs, vision problems as feeling like looking trough a mesh screen, etc.

Also, it is useful to let children get acquainted with assertive devices like wheelchair, motorized scooter or crutches and canes, as this will make them feel less intimidated by the equipment.

Coping With The Physical Consequences Of MS

Children can find very confusing and stressful relapsing episodes. And since even parents that have the most steadily progressive form of MS can experience sudden changes in their symptoms, it can be difficult to plan activities and carry them out in a consistent manner. The recommended thing to do is to take each day as it comes.

Parents should make plans with their children, but also explain that if they are not able to carry them out they will have to take a rain check; also, parents will want to share children’s disappointment and frustration while at the same time giving them an explanation of the problem that they’re having.

It can be helpful for parents to ask the help of trusted family members and friends to participate in recreational and other physical activities with their children. Usually parents assume that other people are too busy to help, but usually, trusted family members and close friends will be more than happy to provide them with assistance – most time are reluctant to do so because they fear that they will be seen as too intrusive or be refused.

If parents find themselves beginning to depend on their children’s help for personal care activities like going to the bathroom or getting dressed, they should first talk to their doctor, nurse or healthcare specialist before asking children’s help. As already discussed this can cause discomfort to both children and parents.

Coping With Cognitive Impairments

When a parent or family member believes that cognitive symptoms are present, a neuropsychological evaluation is the best way to identify the specific problem. This way, once the problem is found, it will be easier to develop coping strategies for both parents and children.

Of course, communication with children is always important. For example, if the parent needs to help his child with his homework but has difficulties with attention and concentration, then it would be best to arrange for a specific time and place to work on the homework, when all the other distractions are at a minimum.

Another useful strategy for minimizing confusion in the household proves to be a family calendar. This should be posted in a central and easy to see location, thus making it easier for a parent with memory problems to keep track of the family’s schedule.

Coping With Emotional And Behavioral Changes

Parents with Multiple Sclerosis can find experiencing uncomfortable emotions either because of the various changes and stresses in their lives or because the disease itself. When parents feel or act not like themselves, then they should consult a healthcare specialist or their physicians. After all, seeking help for emotional problems is similar to seeking help for any of the other MS-related problems.

Consulting a mental health professional who has knowledge about MS can be very helpful for parents, since they will better understand their emotional changes and also find out about treatments and management strategies for their emotional and behavioral changes. This way, parents will be able to explain better to their children the changes that they are going trough and to reassure them that they are not always the reason for which they are frustrated, angry or sad.

Help For Parents And Children

In a family in which one of the parents has Multiple Sclerosis, it is better to deal with most kinds of family issues in a preventive manner, meaning providing education about MS to children, promoting positive mental health, and also using and developing adaptive coping strategies.

It is also recommended for families living with chronic illness to have periodic meeting with a mental health professional to ask questions, identify family strengths and effective coping strategies, learn alternative strategies when needed, and also talk about areas of concern and distress.  Families doing this will be able to prevent small problems turning into crisis and in the case of a period of intense distress, they already have a resource person whom they know and already are comfortable with.  Also, a mental health professional can determine if additional services like psychiatric evaluation, marital counseling or individual therapy are needed.